Trials from Within
by Shadowfire10174
Summary: Conan needs some time to himself, but he will face some unnatural trials that will open his eyes.


**A/N:** This is my first one-shot. One-shots aren't really my preferences, but I decided to give it a try. I'm actually still in a middle of a story, but I just wanted a short break from it.

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own Detective Conan all rights belong to its creator Gosho Aoyama.<strong>

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><p><strong>.<strong>

**-Trials from Within-  
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**(Conan's POV)**

I walk alone on this lonely night. As I walk along the streets of Tokyo I look around and notice there was not a soul to be seen. It was fine with me. I actually prefer to be alone with my thoughts. Continuing my stroll, I think to myself on what my role is in this world. Such a trivial thought, but had some significance nonetheless. I seek an answer, but I never receive one. For now, I believe it is my purpose to find a cure for myself. To return to who I once was. But not only that, I must also destroy the ones responsible for putting me in such a state.

But still, if I do manage to accomplish all that, what will become of me afterward? I assumed I would've returned to my original body by then and would've returned to my original life. Even with that in mind, it still bothers me. It is clear what I seek, and it is clear what I desire. But, somehow it doesn't feel quite complete yet. I turn to a corner entering an alley, still feeling conflicted. As I walk down the alley, I then hear a sudden voice from behind me.

_"Are you troubled meitantei-san?"_

I quickly turned around, in surprise I saw a bright white figure. A person well-known for his so called _"miracles"_. It was none other then the famed phantom thief Kaito Kid. With his back against the wall and his cape flapping in the wind he had appeared from out of nowhere. He turns to me with a grin on his face. "How's it going?"

I gave a menacing glare towards him. "What are you doing here?"

He then stood up straight and slowly began walking towards me. "Who knows?" He then stops in front of me looking down at me.

I glared at him, wondering what he was up to. "What do you want?"

He places his hand over his chest. "Me? I'm here because of you."

I stare at him with confused expression. "What are you talking about?"

"I can see you are questioning your purpose in life."

I widen my eyes in surprise. How did he know what I was thinking about? "How did you—"

"Only you would know the answer to that." He quickly interrupted as if he knew what I was going to ask.

"You feel like your missing something. Something that has yet to be uncovered." He then begins walking until he passes me and stops from behind me. "You already have an idea of what you seek, but yet you still seek something else." He laughs slightly. "Don't worry though, you'll find the answer. You just need to look deep down within yourself."

I went into a state of awe. He had me figured out completely. I still wonder how he knows so much, but I decide to let that go. Other than that, there was still something else I wanted to know. "I appreciate you words, but I still have one question for you."

He glances over his shoulder. "Oh? And what would that be?"

"How did you appear from behind like that?" I asked doubting even he can appear from out of nowhere like that. "Even with your skills, it still would've been impossible for you appear like that without me noticing. So, do you care to answer that?" I anxiously awaited for his reply.

He then smiled kneeling down from behind me, bringing his face closer to my ear. "That's because, I was never here."

My eyes widen as I quickly turned around. At a surprise he had suddenly disappeared. I frantically look around searching for him, but he had completely disappeared. I found it quite impossible, in that split second he had disappeared in thin air. I shook my head, I couldn't think of any possible way he could've disappeared like that. The thought was still bothering me, but I continue my walk down the alley.

Walking down this alley, I still can't help but think about what happened to him. Not only that, what did he mean when he said he was never there? He knew too much, as if he was reading my mind. Thinking about it gives me a headache. I place my hand my hand over my to ease the pain in my head and then I stop. As I remove my hand from my head, I look forward and I notice there was a dead end.

I sigh at the sight of that, then I laugh a little. I always end up in a dead end. Whenever I get a lead on that cursed organization I always end up like this. Exactly like this, I walk down a path and at the end of it there's a dead end. I grow no closer of finding out the secrets of that organization and I don't have an idea of when I will. I wonder what keeps me going. What fills my drive, and how does it tell me my purpose? A voice then rang in my head.

_"Shinichi?"_

I widen my eyes in realization. Of course it's because of that person, the one I practically grew up with. Still I feel it's not just because of her. Something else was still missing from the equation. Another voice then rang in my head.

_"Baka."_

I place my hand over my head, feeling pain from it. That person, her taunts and mocks. The one who escaped from that dreaded organization. Who is she really I wonder? She's no open book I can tell you that. I try to reach out to here, but I receive no signs of progress. She's a challenging case, but I have not given up on her just yet. Someday, I believe I'll get through to her. Just now in my moments of thoughts, I noticed a figure in front of me appearing from the shadows. My eyes widen, and I begin to tremble at the sight of this person.

_"Gin."_

He appears from the darkness in the corner of the wall. That wasn't possible, I couldn't believe what I just saw. He stands at a distance from me and gives a smile. "What's wrong? You look frightened."

I continue to stare at him. I couldn't move at all. What is happening? Why is he here?

"Does my presence terrify you?"

I regain my senses and quickly show a calm expression. "Hardly."

I stare at him, still seeing that smile of his. "Since you're here, I assume you know who I am."

Gin's smile turned into a frown. He only stood there, and didn't respond at all.

"That's not why we're here." The voice came from behind me.

I quickly glance over my shoulder and out of nowhere I saw her as well. "Vermouth?" She was here too. Why? I don't understand any of this.

"Why? What are you—"

"We are here because of you" She quickly answered before I got to finish my question.

Gin then reached into his coat. I quickly turned my head back to him, and as soon as I did I saw Gin pointing a gun at me. "Answer me this, do you honestly believe you can take us down?"

I stare at him as he points the gun at me. I am not afraid of him. I fear nothing from him, not even the thought of him killing me. I calmly answer his question. "Of course I do." I give a glare towards him. "You and your organization have done so much, taken the lives of so many. I'm not just going to let you get away with it. You will all pay for the lives you've taken and I will crush your organization, even if I have to do it myself."

Gin looked at me with his cold eyes. He didn't seem quite convinced. "Really now? You alone will take us on?"

I know it seems impossible. I have no idea what I am really up against, but as long as I'm still able, as long as I still breathe. I will put a stop to them.

Gin smirked. "Such a fool." He began to slowly press on the trigger. "You talk big, let's see if there's any truth behind those words." Gin glares at me with his cold eyes, smiling disgustedly. I stand my ground as he pulls the trigger.

_"Bang."_

The sound of gunfire echoes in my head. I can see the bullet flying directly at me, and yet I still do not move. Then at that moment when the bullet was about to pierce through me, it suddenly disappeared. I looked confused. What happened to the bullet? It should of it hit me, but yet I feel nothing.

Gin puts the gun back in his coat. "Hmm...looks like there's still hope for this one yet." He then slowly backs into the shadow disappearing from my sight.

"Wait!" I called out reaching my arm towards him, but he was already gone.

"Don't give up just yet little detective. You are our Silver Bullet after all. You'll find a way." Her voice then felt faint.

I quickly turn around she had disappeared as well. I turn back forward looking bewildered. What's happening? I place my hand over my head, feeling the pain in my head again. Nothing makes sense. This isn't real, none of it is. I have to get out of here. I quickly run back in the direction I came from, but what I notice is that the alley seems much longer than I remembered. I found it quite odd, I continue walking, but I still can't see the exit.

Just then I finally saw a an opening at the end. I quickly run towards it in relief. When I passed through I entered a small secluded area. Walls surround this room, and I could not locate an exit. I slowly walked into the center of this room and began looking around. It seemed rather strange. When I first walked in here it was a straight alley. How is it when I return there is a room? I look up at the sky, I could still see it. At that moment I felt the pain in my head again. I place my hand over it to ease the pain, but it still didn't help. The pain was excruciating, I drop to my knees with my head lowered. Why does my head hurt so much? I didn't expect to receive an answer, but just then I heard a soft, alluring voice.

_"Are you hurt?"_

The pain in my head suddenly disappeared. I slowly raise my head to where the voice had came from. My eyes widen in shock. Who I saw was not someone my eyes could believe. It was someone that had drawn her last breath and met her fate in my hands. Someone I wasn't able to save.

_"Hirota—"_

_"No Miyano Akemi."_

I was still in shock, at the sight of someone who was believed to be dead_. _I still couldn't believe it, Haibara's dead sister was right there in front of me and I could not say anything.

"What's the matter?" She said showing a sincere smile.

Something just hit me, then my expression returned to normal. "You're not real."

She looked confused. "Come again?"

"I said you aren't real. Seeing you here has brought me to my senses." I stand up, turning my back on her. "Everything I've been through this night, none of it was real. It was all my head." I began walking away from her.

As I walk away she spoke out. "Well...if I was just a figment of your imagination, wouldn't it be wise to listen to what your mind has to say?"

I stopped walking. The thought had me curious, so I decided to play along. I turned back around. "Fine, what do you have to say?"

"Now, you've probably noticed the people you've encountered this night."

I smile, finding the thought of talking to no one hysterical. "Yeah, just more figments of my imagination."

Akemi smiled. "You still think it's all in your mind? You are such a realist."

"What do you mean?"

Akemi giggled a little. "Nothing."

I still can't believe what I'm doing right now. I'm just talking to myself. Still I wonder how my thoughts are portrayed in a physical manifestation. I can't really wrap my head around the thought. It's so ridiculous.

"So, you find this ridiculous?" said Akemi.

My eyes widen, was she reading my mind? Well technically isn't she supposed to be a part of my mind though?

Akemi laughed. "You really think too much."

My patience was beginning to run dry. "I had enough of this. I'm going now." I turn back around and walk away.

"I'm sorry, you can't leave just yet."

My body then froze. I couldn't move at all, no matter how hard I tried. "What's happening?" My body began to move again, but I was not controlling it. I turned back around, and against my will I walk back to Akemi. I stare at her, with a shocked expression."W-Who are you?"

"I'm Miyano Akemi."

I didn't believe her. "That's a lie! The real Miyano Akemi is dead!"

Akemi nodded. "You're right I am dead, but my spirit still lives on."

Spirit? Is she saying that she is the ghost of the deceased Miyano Akemi, but that isn't possible.

"I really am Miyano Akemi."

I still didn't believe her. I wasn't quite convinced. I laughed. "You really expect me to believe that. What you're telling me is that you're a spirit."

"You still don't believe me? Well then, how do you explain the fact that you can't move right now."

I didn't reply. I really couldn't explain the reason why. It still had me wondering.

"You don't have a good explanation do you?"

I looked away. "Not really, but I still don't believe you."

"Well, that's fine. You don't have to believe me, you just need to listen."

My body was still motionless. I really didn't have much of a choice, so I'll listen to what she has to say.

"As you know the people you encountered earlier were my doing. I showed you people that relate to who you are."

"How exactly do they relate to me?" I asked.

"Here." Akemi pointed her arm to the side. "Let me show you." I then felt control over my body and I turned in the direction she was pointing at. An image of Kaito Kid appeared. I rubbed my eyes, believing I was seeing things. I looked at it once again, and it was still there.

"Here, Kaito Kid represents your sense of order. To preserve order you seek to capture those who do wrong."

The image faded away and an image of Gin and Vermouth appeared. "The organization."

"They represent your sense of justice. To uphold justice you seek to put a stop to the organization and their many crimes." The images fade away.

Akemi turned her head to me. "Your sense for order and justice are strong." Akemi nodded and blinked. "You truly are pure of heart."

I turned away. Me? Pure of heart? Was what she was saying true? I shook my head. "Don't try to flatter me."

Akemi looked puzzled. "What was that?"

"I don't need your praise, I don't need anyone's opinion. I'm just a normal person like everyone else."

Akemi stared at me for a moment then smiled. "You really are something aren't you?"

Akemi then moved closer to me kneeling down until we were face to face. "Now it's time for your final test." She slowly began moving her hand toward my head.

I felt nervous, as her hand grows closer. "W-What are you doing?"

She placed her hand over my head. "Look within yourself, little detective."

I then felt a sudden vibe enter my body. With my eyes widened and jaw lowered slightly, I begin to tremble. Such a cold feeling, I can't help but feel faint. My vision begins to blur and my head began to spin. As I take one last glimpse at Akemi I pass out shortly after.

I then awaken to find myself lying on the floor. I stand up and take a look around. I notice I was surrounded by nothing but darkness. Everywhere where I look it was all darkness. I wondered where I was. Last thing I remembered was that I was talking to Akemi, after that I just I zoned out.

_"Well, if it isn't Kudo Shinichi."_

A eerie voice spoke out. I couldn't discern where it came from. This voice it was so familiar. My eyes widened in realization, this voice was Gin's.

_"You're such an arrogant boy."_

I frantically look around. "Where are you?"

_"You alone believe you can make a difference."_

I was growing agitated. "Show yourself!"_  
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_"But in reality you are nothing."_

"Shut up and face me!"

From behind me in the shadows Gin then appeared. I turn around and face him. Every time I see his face it fills me with anger and hatred.

Gin grinned taking notice of my expression. "You don't look too happy to see me."

I tightened my glare and gritted my teeth. "You!"

Gin looked perplexed. "Hmm...those eyes, you must really hate me."

I became even angrier. "Hate you? I despise you! I want to destroy every part of your being!"

Gin chuckled, then gave a sick smile. "Why don't you go ahead and try then?"

His taunt was tempting me. I just want to go up to him and wipe clean that stupid smile off his face. I clench my fists, I was aggravated. I don't know how much longer I can control myself.

"Well? What are you waiting for?"

That last taunt made me snap. Before I knew it I was already running towards him, but just then I suddenly stopped, I could feel something grabbing onto my foot. I looked down at it and I saw what seemed to be the shadows eating away at it.

I turned my head back to Gin, giving him a glare. "What is this?"

Gin smirked. "How does it feel to be consumed by the darkness?"

"What?" I asked in confusion.

"The darkness that surrounds you will continue to eat away your entire being."

The shadows had already took hold of my other leg and began to move up to my torso.

"Slowly you will be consumed until you are nothing."

I tried to shake free from it, pulling my legs up.

"Struggle all you like, but there's no escaping your fate."

I ignored him. I was determined on trying to free myself, so I kept on going.

"Now tell me little detective, what will you do?"

I turned to him, feeling even greater hatred.

"Damn you!"

"Oh? What happened to all that big talk earlier? You seemed so confident back then, but look at you now." Gin laughed at me with pity. "How ironic, what you sought to destroy will actually be the one to destroy you."

I couldn't move at all. As I continue to struggle, I can feel the darkness consume more and more of my body. Before I knew it, it had already reached my neck. The only part of my body that was currently free was my head and an arm I managed to save. This was extremely frustrating, there was nothing I can do.

"You just won't give up won't you?" Gin sighed. "Just accept your_..._uh? Gin suddenly looked up. The darkness slowly continued to move up, but I managed to catch a glimpse of what he was looking at. It was a crack of light that stood out in this realm of darkness.

_"Kudo-kun."_

A familiar voice called out to me. I really couldn't hear it well, due to the fact that I was almost completely submerged in darkness.

Gin looked forward. "Well, it looks like you're going to survive after all." He slowly backed up disappearing into the darkness.

_"Make no mistake Kudo Shinichi, if you show any weakness at all, then next time you will die."_

I noticed he had left me alone as I was about to meet my end. My head was almost completely consumed, but I still had my arm out.

_"Kudo-kun?"_

The same voice called out to me again. I wondered where it was coming from. It seemed so familiar. The crack of light above me had grew bigger and continued growing. The crack then had opened wide and a bright light shines out of it. I caught a small glimpse of it, and I then saw an arm reaching out to me.

_"Grab on Kudo-kun."_

I listened to the voice and attempted to reach for it with my free hand. I reach closer and closer to the hand, but it was a little too far out of reach. The darkness had moved up further and obstructed my vision. I couldn't breathe and everything looked blurry, I felt faint. Eventually, I had passed out due to the lack of oxygen.

My hand was about to fall and be swallowed with the rest of me, but then the hand from above reached further and took grasp of it before it fell. At that moment I was being pulled up and the darkness began to slowly fade away. I was getting closer and closer to the light. As I finally enter the light I leave the loneliness of that dark realm and enter another one.

I had awoken, lying on my back. As I open my eyes, my vision was still blurry, but I managed to catch a glimpse of a strawberry blonde girl looking down at me.

"Ha-Haibara?"

I believed she smiled at me, then she stands up and leaves without saying anything.

"W-Wait...don't...go."

"Don't go..."

My vision begins to clear and I quickly raise myself up. "...Haibara!"

I look around, she was already gone. She had saved me back there. I wanted to thank her, but she just left without a word. I stand up and take another look around. Unlike the other place I was in, this place was all light.

_"You did it."_

I turned to the voice and I saw Akemi appear from out of nowhere.

"I'm glad you made it out of there."

"I didn't do it on my own, I had help from your sister."

Akemi laughed slightly. "That only makes things better."

I turn to her with a confused expression. "Huh?"

"Don't you see, in your mind she had come to save you, that only proves how close you two are."

"The bond you and her share is special never forget that."

I nodded. "I won't."

Akemi smiled at me. "I guess I was right about you after all."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I now feel I can completely trust you."

"Trust me with what?"

"I can now trust you to protect my little Shiho."

I looked slightly shocked. "Protect her?"

Akemi nodded. "That's right. All this time I was testing you to see if I can trust you to protect her."

"To be honest, you actually exceeded my expectations. You are pure of heart as you are strong willed."

_"Order."_

_"Justice."_

"Are parts of you that make up who you are."

"There is also one more part of you that makes up your character, and that is your desire to protect everyone."

I lowered my head. It was something I felt obligated to do, but still it didn't always work out. "But I had failed to protect you." I argued.

Akemi kneeled down to face me and gave me a smile. "There's no point of blaming yourself for that, I knew full well what would happen to me."

Akemi closed her eyes. "Thanks to you, I can finally pass on without any regrets."

Akemi reopened her eyes. "Promise me you'll protect her, okay?

I nodded. "I promise."

Hearing that from me made her smile. "Thank you." She then started to fade away. I noticed her eyes started to water. Tears ran from her eyes, I could tell they were tears of joy. "I have faith in you." Those were the words she said as she disappears from my sight. From the surroundings I could hear her last words.

_"Goodbye. Little detective."_

I looked up and smile. "Goodbye. Akemi-chan."

The world around me began to crumble away. It was time for me to return to life to fulfill my promise.

I had awoken, lying on the floor in the alley. I stood up and looked around. I was back in the alley, that means I've returned home. I looked up and I noticed the sky wasn't dark anymore. It was a cloudy morning, as I continue to stare into the sky, I then felt a drop of water from above. It had started raining. It didn't bother me, I only looked forward and smiled.

That was a odd night. I wondered how long I was out. I questioned if it was all dream. Well, dream or not I don't plan to let her down. I then heard footsteps coming from the alley entrance behind me. I glance over my shoulder to see who was there and to my surprise I saw Haibara wearing the tracking glasses, standing there with an umbrella in her hand.

"H-Haibara?"

"There you are." she said in an annoyed tone. "Where have you been? I heard you didn't return home last night, so I assumed you were dead or something."

I smile upon hearing her comment. I didn't take it as an offense, but instead I was rather happy to hear the sound of her voice. I began walking towards her, pretty soon I started running. As I approach her I wrap her around my arms giving her a hug. She dropped her umbrella in surprise to my action and we were both left feeling the wetness of the rain.

"Thank you Haibara."

Haibara looked confused, blushing a little. "What are you thanking me for?"

I've made a promise to protect you and I plan to honor it. I will protect you Haibara no matter what. I will make sure your life will be a happy one. I know that is what your sister would've wanted. I now know what I seek and I know what I desire. What lies beyond the future is beyond my control. We can only shape our destinies so far, any further than that is anyone's guess.

As the rain continues to fall, I still had not released Haibara from my arms. For some reason she didn't seem to mind, I expected her to pull away by now, but she still didn't. All this time I felt I was missing something in my life, but I really wasn't missing anything. I had just realized it was with me all along.

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><p><strong>The End<br>**

**A/N:** Does it seem kind of vague? I tried to make it seem interesting, but well I don't know. Please tell me what you think. I'll return to working on my story now.


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